I would describe my life over the years as being stressful. I’ve encountered my fair share of hardship.  It started with living through my parent’s rough marriage and then my own failed marriage. I remarried and that has brought new challenges. I love my family and have tried my best to keep things balanced and peaceful.  Still, without going into detail, I have made many wrong decisions and have suffered the consequences. 

For several years I have worked in a competitive sales environment, which has also contributed to my high stress. Although I felt overwhelmed at times, I would just try to keep busy and not think about it. I looked forward to the weekends when I could get away from everything to run errands, listen to the radio, and shop.

During the last 20 years of life, I did seek spirituality but was looking in the wrong places. I read many self-help, New Age type books that really didn’t give me any prolonged peace or solve problems.

During my childhood my parents weren’t regular churchgoers.  Thankfully my sisters and I did have a little church exposure, mainly kids Vacation Bible Programs and Sunday school where we learned about Jesus and good values. It was a very positive experience for me. Looking back, I can’t understand how I drifted later to be so open to entirely different beliefs.

Last summer, a friend invited my son to the youth group here. I thought this would be a good experience for him.  As I dropped him off at this church, I remember him having second thoughts about going, but I encouraged him to give it a try and he went in. When I picked him up, I was very surprised to hear about his positive experience. He was so excited. He said he had the most awesome feeling he had ever had.  He said he couldn’t describe it in words. It was so great. He kept smiling.  This was totally out character for him.  I remember my heart beating fast as I observed him in his excitement.  I felt he had some supernatural experience from God.  I truly believe that God used my son’s experience to reach out and soften my heart toward him.

One weekend shortly after, I was in Seattle shopping. I remember sitting at a long stoplight and suddenly feeling very alone and extremely empty.  I started thinking, “Is this all there is to life?” I remember saying, “God I wish had a friend”.  The next thing I remember is turning on the radio and hearing a lady with an English accent telling a beautiful children’s story about Jesus.  The story warmed my heart. I never listened to Christian radio, but it was sure comforting.

Then one day when I was working from home, I suddenly got an uncontrollable urge to call this Church to talk to the Pastor, which was so unusual for me. I ended up talking to Pastor Mike.  He was so patient and kind and took time to answer my questions.  I asked where I should begin. I let him know that I hadn’t been connected to church since I was a young girl but wanted to start. He recommended reading the book of John and then Acts in the Bible.  We also discussed salvation and then he prayed on the phone with me, which I wasn’t used to, but was very comforting.

A day or so later, while working from home, I had an overwhelming feeling that I wanted to be saved. This was not something I would normally think about during my typical busy workday. I felt drawn. I knew that part of salvation included asking for God’s forgiveness of sin.  I never really thought of myself as being a very sinful person.  I thought I was actually pretty good.  However, as I started thinking about my past, I couldn’t believe all of the sins that resurfaced.  They continued to pop up. Bad things I had done and had forgotten about. Wow! There were a lot.  I started feeling really bad and sick in my stomach. I felt so ashamed. I remember thinking how could I be so foolish and selfish over the years.  No wonder so many things went wrong.  I got down on my knees and I sobbed and begged God for forgiveness. I felt so sorry in my heart for sinning against God.  After I was finished, I felt weak but a great relief and an inner peace. I felt Jesus had forgiven me. Looking back, I think this is when Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be with me and help guide my life.

After all this, I started feeling different. One change was that I couldn’t get enough information about Jesus. It was exciting. I started seeking, reading, and listening intently to learn about Jesus’ ways and how to please him. I started listening to Christian radio.  I started coming to this Church and learning more about Jesus from Pastor Mike’s sermons.  Life is meaningful now.

Another big change is the inner peace. I used to be under constant worry and stress. I could feel its effects on my body and emotions. Now, with the help of Jesus, I can feel peace during stressful times. I can find patience during situations that I normally would loose self-control.  I think things out instead of immediately reacting.  This is a major change in me, and I don’t take it for granted.  I thank Jesus and pray every day for continued support. I know I could not experience this peace and self-control with out Jesus Christ in my life.  No book that I’ve ever read has had this type of positive impact on me, and I’ve read many.

I now take time to pray at least twice a day.  I also read the bible, which is full of wisdom. It helps me a lot. I know I will continue to encounter issues in life, but it’s great to know that God’s Holy Spirit is here with me to help. I have faith that Jesus will help others that I pray for too.

I’ve learned that Jesus wants an intimate relationship with every single one of us. He loves us all the same. No matter what we’ve done in our past or where we are in our lives, he is willing to forgive us right where we are. When you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay your sin debt in full and repent with a heart felt sorrow for sinning against Holy God, asking for his forgiveness, he will cleanse you and send the Holy Spirit to be with you to guide you through life. You will then have a new life.  It doesn’t mean we’re never going to sin again because we’re human, but it won’t be our pattern and Jesus is there to help us.

Jesus’ love for us is amazing, he will even use people and circumstances to bring us closer to him.  Thank you Jesus!